Should we push for our grandson to have an eleven-plus tutor?

Our grandson is in year 5 at school. Most of the children in his class are obsessed with next September’s 11-plus exam. He says his friends all have tutors, and naturally he wants one, too. His parents don’t approve of the 11-plus; they know he is very bright, and should do well in the exam – but, of course, anyone can have a bad day. Also, there is the obvious possibility that other children will get a sufficient advantage from tutoring that they overtake him and take up all the grammar school places, thus relegating him to one of the local non-grammar schools. We are well able to pay for tutoring, which is quite a substantial business in the area. Should we interfere, and push for him to have a tutor?

When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *