Name: Prince Andrew, wedding planner.
Age: The much-loved prince is 58, but his role as a wedding planner is relatively recent.
Whose wedding is he planning? His daughter Princess Eugenie’s.
Is she the one who wears really stupid hats? She does wear quite stupid hats, but you may be thinking of the hat her elder sister Princess Beatrice wore to the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in 2011 – the one that looked like a toilet seat.
So many weddings. So many royals.
How are Eugenie’s wedding plans going? Things had been looking pretty grim. Prince Andrew had wanted a TV spectacular to rival the round-the-clock coverage of Prince Harry’s marriage to Meghan Markle in May, but the BBC said no. It feared a ratings disaster, reasoning that even hardened royal watchers were unlikely to be interested in Princess Eugenie.
Who’s she marrying?Jack Brooksbank.
Something in the City? No. A man about town who used to run a nightclub and is now the European brand manager for Casamigos tequila.
I imagine they met while skiing in Verbier. Of course. Prince Andrew has a home there.
How does the prince feel about the BBC’s refusal to show Eugenie’s wedding? Livid, apparently. “From the outset, the instruction from the very top was that Eugenie’s wedding must be televised,” according to an aide, but repeated requests from the prince were rejected.
What will he do? Andrew has convinced ITV to show it. This Morning at the Royal Wedding will come live from St George’s Chapel, Windsor, on Friday 12 October.
What can we look forward to? Three hours of high-class flummery and a star-studded guestlist.
Elton John and the Beckhams? Naturally, no royal wedding would be complete without them. But we are also promised Robbie Williams, whose daughter will be one of Princess Eugenie’s flower girls, and George and Amal Clooney – George part-owns the tequila brand Brooksbank works for.
Should be quite an event. Prince Andrew wants it to be bigger than Prince Harry’s wedding – hence his insistence on TV cameras. There were only 600 people invited to Windsor for the royal wedding in May, whereas 850 have been invited this time, even though the chapel only holds 800.
What about the reception? The Queen is hosting a post-wedding lunch, there will be a party in the evening, and on Saturday there will be a funfair at Royal Lodge, the mansion in Windsor Great Park belonging to Prince Andrew and his former wife Sarah Ferguson.
Who is paying? The royal family, although the taxpayer will have to stump up an estimated £2m for security.
Not to be confused with: A significant national event.
Do say: “At least this is one royal wedding that Sarah, Duchess of York, will get an invite to.”
Don’t say: “What a shame. I have to go to the dentist that morning.”